I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
