my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
