So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
