we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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