tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
