so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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