I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
