I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
