so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
