1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
