yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
