I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
