just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just had sex on a roof
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
