She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize