It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
