I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
