I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
