Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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