i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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