Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
