So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
