you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
