I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
