Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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