talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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