There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
