Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
