Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
