fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
