So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
