Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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