I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
