10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
