North Korea, Best Korea!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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