I smell stomach acid.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
