i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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