yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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