Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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