I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
