Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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