Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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