i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
