so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
