my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
