I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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