why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
