Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
