I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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