love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
