so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm at about main and main street
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
