so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
