I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
