don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
