I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
