I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
